One year ago today, around lunch time, I was sitting on the Eng'g steps, taking a break from being a marshal for the freshmen advanced registration, when Garrick Yao walked up the steps, carrying his ridiculously big blue water jug.

He just arrived so I was the first person he saw. Laki ng ngiti niya, bigger than usual. He greeted me and I waved back. Syempre malaki rin ngiti ko. (I wasn't so close to the Clubbers yet at that time so Gar being friendly to me made me feel so welcome.)

When I got to the tambayan (I followed him up), everyone greeted him happy birthday! So it was his birthday pala, I didn't know. No wonder he looked so happy when he greeted me, nag-aabang ng greeting. Sorry, Gar!

Ah, well. I got to greet him that day, at least

Happy birthday, Mister Yao. We miss you down here. ♥

And everyday I miss you more.

One week for you. Seven years for someone else.
Seven years and I still think about what could have been. I miss you. And I love you. So, so much.

(Those last three lines are for you, too.)

I was going to write something but my dad just told me I should exercise more and I said,

"Exercise. Dancing. DanSport training in UP.
I miss dancing, I haven't danced in three years. At all."

And he completely ignored me.

Nawalan ako ng ganang magsulat.

In our village there's this huge hump. HUGE I tell you. As in there's one point when the entire car is on the hump. That's how big it is. It's not a hump, even. It's like a hill or something. You can practically cruise over it. Wala lang. I think that every time I pass over it, which is a lot. Ang laki talaga nung hump na yun. Sobra. It's easy to get over though, which is good. Random ramblings.

Grabeee. I ate so much today it's crazy! No breakfast, as usual. (Pause for complaints.) Lunch at Chateau Verde with the family, so of course we ate a lot. I mean a lot talaga. Baked oysters with cheeeeeese! =P~ And then isaw and barbecue with a few orgmates + Max♥at Ilang. (Mang Larry's has my heart! Seriously, for me, Mang Larry's is sooo much better.) And then Wham! Burger for dinner pa! I'm so busog I hope Max still loves me even if I'm fat na. I wish I'd gain a little weight in my arms though. Mukha ata akong anorexic, eep. o_O

And theeen I just realized how long it's been since I've been to Rocky's place. His place holds memories, man! I miss going to Rocky's. I think I'll invite myself over one of these days. WHAT. I miss my Cee family. May 10 please!

I should shut up na. Shut uuup!

Warning: This entry will be blahblahblah so you might not be interested. Play Bloons na lang! It's a lot better than hearing about my day, I guarantee!

I am close to awarding someone King of Right Timing and someone else Prince of Right Timing. Strangely, I always know I'm gonna run into those two but when I do I'm still "AH WHERE DID YOU COME FROM GO AWAY!"

Ay. Only to the King pala. The Prince can stay. (Uuuy, someone's getting bothered na!)

That was so VAGUE! Like me.

I met up with Mig and Stef this afternoon. FUN! Next Tuesday again, yeah? This time Stef will pay for everyone! (Kidding.) I love spending time with my cousins. I can be as ditsy and conyo as I want and they don't care cos they're more conyo than I am! Hay basta, I love my family. Let's go to your house na Miguel, I'll bring tequila! If you decide to ban me, I'll give you a fierce picture to use in the poster. WHAT WHAT!

(Stef, text me when you're in UP, I'll give you a tour of Engineering. And introduce you to my fierce friends, of course. I'll also make sure you have more than a lychee shake for lunch :D)

And I have a random question: Don't you find it sooo cute when little kids ask you to accompany them to the bathroom? They go up to you and say "Ate, I have to go." and then they look at you expectantly. It takes you about 5 seconds to realize they're waiting for you to get up, take their hand and walk them there. And then when you do get to the bathroom they take forever in there but it's alright, you don't mind.

Cute, cute

(I hear objections already.)

Belated happy birthday, Pau!
Belated happy birthday, Jehan!
Belated happy birthday, Claro!
Happy birthday, Myk!
Happy birthday, Ate Trix!
Happy birthday, papa!

There are so many of you April celebrants! I love you all. Love looove. ♥

I saw one of my friends from ballet yesterday at party here in the village. She's 2 batches below me, so we only danced together for a year. We weren't really close or anything but she lived here too so I'd ride home with her sometimes. When she saw me yesterday she said, "Hi Yapi! You live here?" And I was, like, wow girl you brought me home like ten times in third year. Am I that forgettable?

Same thing with some of my friends' Multiply albums of pictures of the Miriam Ballet friends getting together. They miss the others who don't show up, except me. No more missing me cos I'm too far away. As in, distant memory kind of far away. It's a choice I made, I know, but it's still sad.

I miss being missed.

(For Miguel: That's why you made me happy by saying you missed my company after Lipa! Well, you didn't say it. But you implied it. HAHAHA YABANG AMP. But sweetie I know you miss me which is why we will have lunch next week! I have stuff to tell you! I will keep you company while Bea is in the States! I will bore you to death with my talking! Visit me in UP! I love you, Migger, and you know it. Ang haba nung patalastas ko.)

For those wondering how I'm doing with everything (i.e. Ocho and whoever else), here's a little emotional update:

I'm afraid and I don't even know what I'm afraid of anymore. My list so far is: letting go, being alone, change, not being able to keep up, being different from everyone else...before, making you feel bad, making myself seem like an awful person, failing ES21 (singit lang), not meeting your standards, putting IEC before you again, what might happen if I let my guard down, you seeing my vulnerable side, trusting people and being forgotten.

(Different yous, btw. Just to make everything clear.)

Little girl's a mess right now. She needs kid things to make her happy.

I think I'll look for the cotton candy man in UP tomorrow.

Who knew what we know now
Could have been more but at least
You're still my day late friend
-A Day Late; Anberlin

What to write about, what to write about. *thinking face* Ah yes. Puerto Galera with the organization has taught me several things, some of which are:

• Generoso is the SHIZ
• Mel Tan really is the wilder twin!
• Barbie, Chlods, Karen, Mel and Grace are the best roomies
• Alex Yam's the coolest ever. He drinks when we wants to, even during I Never!
  
• I lovelovelove IE Club, seriously ♥

It was an awesome trip, just check out the pictures at my Multiply!

I went to Ilocos right after Puerto Galera. It was a trip I wasn't to eager to take at first (cos it got in the way of some plans) but I'm glad I went. It was the break I needed. Plus I got to play with Christian, my adorable pamangkin. He's getting so big already! And he can say syllables like dadada already. He's the cutest (:

I actually wanted to post something emotional and dramatic (and substantial and heartfelt, maybe) today but I realize I'm not ready to, well, to write about it. I'll just let my thoughts stay in my head. I have many of them, and they're all just whizzing around. My head doesn't get a moment of peace nowadays.

Except maybe when you looked at me last Friday. And then everything disappeared, and it was just you and me again. You and me, before all this. Like two years ago on that overpass.

You, me and a deserted island remember? ♥